You are a good parent

Over the last few months I can’t tell you just how many times I have heard mummies saying to each other that they are doing or have done something wrong, or the most common statement that they are

FAILING

If we are all honest we have all probably felt this way at some point.

I know I certainly did, but then one day someone said something to me that made me think and realise that I was doing ok. It was only 6 words and I apologise now for not giving credit where it really is due, but I cannot remember who it was who said it, so if it was you, please let me know and I will happily acknowledge you.

So here it is

BABY COMES OUT

GUILT COMES IN

and it’s very true, from the moment that you give birth, or even before when you know you are pregnant, you start worrying about everything.

When you are pregnant you might worry about what you eat, is it safe to do different activities etc.

Once the baby arrives there are so many things to think about, what nappies should you use, how should you feed, when to start routines to mention just a few.

And for every decision you have to make as a parent there will be a little voice at the back of your mind making you wonder whether you have made the right choice, and making you feel guilty about any slight thing, it’s the thoughts of maybe if I did …. instead certain things might have been different.

But it is quite simple

YOU ARE A GOOD PARENT

If you are able to have these feelings of guilt then you are doing something right, you are busy worrying about your children, which is just what you should be doing.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you are doing is wrong, you will have thought long and hard about everything and made the right decision for you and your family at that particular moment in time.

family 2013

All any of us can do is what we think is the best thing for our families at any given time.

Another delay on soya

It seems that the soya trial just isn’t meant to be.

the last post Soya take 2 said that I was ready to move on to the next stage.

So Tuesday came when I had planned to give him a spoonful of soya pudding

alpro soyaand to be completely honest I just never got around to it, Tuesday is my really hectic day, nursery drop of, pick up one at lunchtime, french lesson, swimming lesson, back to pick up number 2, then off to Guides and last week I even fitted in some breastfeeding peer support. So that was no problem, as I felt I didn’t want to rush anything, I wanted to make sure that when Tim had the soya it was all relaxed rather than being a rush where he might know that there was something strange going on.

And everything would be fine as both boys come home from nursery at lunchtime on a Wednesday, so plenty of time the next afternoon, or so I thought.

When I went to pick Sammy up from nursery I couldn’t see him, usually he is riding around on one of the tricycles, or if he hasn’t managed to ‘bag’ one of those he will just be running madly around chasing or being chased.
He was found lying down under the climbing frame, they’d asked if he was ok, had any bumps, felt ill etc, offered hugs but he wasn’t interested. By the time I carried him to Tim’s room he just led on the floor again, At the car he informed me he had a tummy ache, which is good to know as normally he just keeps everything to himself.

So we had a quiet afternoon thinking the boys could share the soya pudding after tea.

But no it still wasn’t to be, Sam played a bit, sat quietly a bit and then finally went really green looking and was sick, so the decision had to be made that it wasn’t worth the risk of trialling Tim with soya as if he were ill we wouldn’t know whether it was the soya causing it or if he had caught whatever Sam had.

No problem there leave it a couple of days and try again?

Well you might think so, but finally Tim has got the cold that has been going around the rest of us for a while, so I guess it is now a case of watch this space until further notice, as we are just waiting for that moment when everyone is healthy enough for the tiral to go ahead!

Sam and Tim

Soya take 2

As anyone following this blog will know we were trialing soya a couple of weeks ago and had to put a stop to it when he got a ‘rash’ all on one side of his face, which we were sure was down to him having spent some time overnight lying in vomit (unfortunately he didn’t even make a murmur to let us know)

tim cheek 3So having waiting until the marks on his cheek completely cleared up we started again, this was the middle of last week.

So far it is just bread that he has had, but we have made sure that he has had at least one slice of soya containing bread if not two everyday. He has not developed any spots or rashes anywhere that we have noticed, he has been fine in himself and as far as we are concerned everything seems to be going really well (I hate writing that, as it feels like tempting fate!)

What next?

well I actually have a plan

As we have never really thought that soya was a problem we are planning (as advised by dietician) to add a soya dessert in next. Although I don’t think it will be a problem, I wanted to wait until tomorrow evening as Tim is at nursery tomorrow while Sam has his swimming lesson, so I didn’t want to risk anything going wrong there.

Therefore tomorrow evening Tim will be eating (hopefully) a spoonful of alpro soya

alpro soyaIf he is then fine over night and on Wednesday, then Wednesday evening I plan to feed him the rest of the pot.

Here’s hoping all goes well.

Soya again

The rash on the side of Tim’s face has gone, which put the soya trial on hold

tim cheek

So now that he has been fine for a few days, no rash, no sickness, we are looking to try again.

As he didn’t seem very keen on eating anything much when we tried last week  I think that what I will do this time is let him decide, I will offer him both sorts of bread this afternoon for his tea and let him choose which he wants, so I don’t know whether we are starting the soya trial again or not yet.

Watch this space and I will keep you informed

Soya trial on pause

As you will probably know we have been trialling soya in bread the last couple of days.

As far as we are concerned all seems to be going well, but for some reason Tim was sick again last night (first time he was sick was Thursday night before the soya trial began) We don’t know at what point he was actually sick as it seems like big brother he prefers to keep these things to himself, no crying or anything.

So this morning I found him with a small amount of vomit on the side of his face.

We are not stopping the soya trial due to the vomiting, but due to the very red sore looking marks on his cheek, we are assuming that they are due to lying in vomit (I know sounds horrible)

Unfortunately as there is no way we can guarantee whether it is from the soya as it is always a possibility we will pause the soya trial until it has cleared up completely, then give it another go.

Fingerscrossed the sickness has stopped, otherwise I guess it will be a trip to the doctor to see what is causing it.

Soya Trial

tim

This is going to be one of the most rewritten posts even before any of it gets typed.

Last night I began with

Tomorrow I will be going shopping to buy some bread with soya in, to trial Tim with soya flour.

This is a totally different feeling to when we did his milk trial some months ago

Which got halted by said little man waking up, took a while to settle him, so the plan was I would have time to finish writing it this morning before going shopping.

So I was going to write all about I have no real worries about doing it as I am not convinced that soya is a problem. The plan was to have sandwiches for lunch with bread containing soya flour.

However it seems that Tim had different ideas to me, and at around 2am this morning we were changing beds and cleaning up sick. So far today he has been fine, but I don’t dare trial the soya today, not because I think it will make him ill, but because if it happens that he is sick again then I wouldn’t be able to say 100% that it isn’t the soya causing problems.

We have still made it to the shops, didn’t really want to go incase he was unwell, but the rest of us have to eat as well and it was looking a bit like Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboards in our house.

So I have bought the bread and as long as he isn’t sick for the rest of today or tonight then I will be going ahead tomorrow.

Mummy Time?

This morning was the first day that both my boys were in nursery for a whole morning at the same time.

Such a long time since they looked like this, and now they are growing so fast.

A bit of time to myself?

sarah

Well to put it simply NO

Last night I was asked the subtle question

are you busy tomorrow?

I knew there was going to be something he needed me to do.

So this morning after dropping the boys at nursery I have been busy

  • writing a business plan
  • painting in the hallway
  • washing
  • tidying the kitchen
  • sorting stuff for Guides tonight
  • sorting stuff for Brownies Thursday

then a sudden look at the clock to realise that although I can make it out the door with both boys in tow and not be late for things, I was cutting it very fine to get to the Breastfeeding cafe, where I Peer Support.

It seems when I have the boys I am constantly clock watching, but suddenly it was just me so I thought I could fit just a little bit more into the limited time I had.
Guess I need to be more careful tomorrow!