Feeding Police

i love breastfeedingI am sure that almost everyone who has had a child will have heard of the ‘Breastfeeding Police’ or ‘Breastfeeding Mafia’

Well I know there are those out there who lecture others on breastfeeding being something that everyone should do, and can make mums feel inadequate if they for whatever reason chose not to.

But how about the ‘Bottle-feeding Police’?

The what? I hear you all shouting!

Recently I have watched several friends struggle with breastfeeding for various reasons, their reasons are nothing to do with this post, so I will not be going in to that.
As a breastfeeding peer supporter myself I have offered support, if and when they have wanted it, at no time have I said, ‘you must continue’ what I have been saying is along the lines of

let me know if there is anything I can do (either breastfeeding related or just to give a new mum a break)

do you know where to get support locally (if they are not near me)

you have my number, give me a ring if you just want to chat about anything

and when a couple of them have been considering whether to continue breastfeeding or move onto bottles, I have simple told them that they

need to do what they feel is best for them and their new family,

making sure that they know that I am still here to offer support whether they keep breastfeeding or not.

 

So this is where the ‘Bottle-feeding Police’ come in.

Unfortunately due to the power of social media I have been able to watch a lot of friends over the last month or so be bombarded by people telling them to

‘just put him/her onto a bottle’

‘it didn’t do my baby any harm’

etc, etc, etc

At no point with any of these people have I seen those much talked about ‘breastfeeding mafia’ in action, there have been plenty of people offering support, explaining how hard breastfeeding can be and responding to any queries the mother may have.

What I have seen is too many ‘Bottle-feeding Police’ usually not listening to what the mother has to say and just saying change to bottle.
They are taking no notice of what the mums reasons for wanting to breastfeed are, or what the issues might be.
They are simply saying over and over again move to bottles it will be easier and listing a load of reasons to do it, which may or may not work for each child, like whether they sleep through or not, and how long they go between feeds,
They need to remember each child is different so just because it worked for them and their child, it does not mean it will work for everyone.

I am so sad to say that some of the friends I have been watching have ended up feeling pressurised, not by the much talked about ‘breastfeeding mafia’, but by the ‘Bottle-feeding police’

I wish that we as mothers could all just offer support to each other, without always assuming that whatever decisions we have made for our child will be the best or right decision for another mother and her child.

Being paid to breastfeed!

Who has seen the news today?

It is really is a sad world when breastfeeding seems soo much more important than the poor people suffering at the hands of the weather.

So I apoligise now that this post is about breastfeeding, so for anyone who wants to know how to support the victims of the Haiyan Typhoon go to the Diasters Emergency Committee website

phillippines typhoon

But for me anything about breastfeeding is very prominent at the moment as I have now managed over 36hours without feeding Tim, which as I have wanted to stop for a couple of months now it is always in my thoughts.

i love breastfeeding

As I start to write this I haven’t yet bothered to actually read anything about the ins and outs of this £200 payment to people who breastfeed for 6months, I haven’t had to there has been soo much about it everywhere on the social networking sites that I feel I already know all about it. From everything I have seen people seem to have very definite views about it, now normally a statement like that suggests some think one thing and some another, but I have only found people against it. So it would be easy to assume that it is people who didn’t breastfeed for whatever reason that are against it, well yes they are, but so are the avid breastfeeders, this might at first sound odd, why not be happy to get some money for something we are doing anyway?

Well those  who are passionate about breastfeeding would much rather the money be spent on helping those who are struggling to breastfeed. I have saved enough money already by not spending it on formula, and all the bottles, sterilising equipment etc. far more than the £200 they are offering to pay!

So I guess before I actually publish this post I should go and find out what it is really about and decide what I think about it myself.

 

Well I’ve been and had a bit of a read around and so far it is all still a bit vague really, as there are reports of health visitors saying that they won’t really know whether someone is breastfeeding or not so will just have to hope they don’t lie. There are concerns over the vouchers being spent on cigarettes and alcohol, and that’s just a couple of points.

Whatever the reports say I still think that Breastfeeding although it should be the norm, (don’t forget there are NO benefits to breastfeeding!) it should not be something that people feel pressurised into doing. If they do not feel happy about breastfeeding they are never going to bond well with their baby and have a good relationship, they could start to resent their child, and the thought of people starting to feel this way just to try and get a small monetary incentive seems wrong to me.

 

So lets try and remember although Breastfeeding might be an important subject, there are a lot more important things out there for us to be thinking about

phillippines typhoon

Big John’s

This weekend we visited a new (to us) restaurant Big John’s in Leicester.

bigjohns 1

When eating out with anyone with allergies life becomes a lot more complicated and this is the first time that we have eaten out with the new additions of soya and egg to the things Tim cannot eat.

So what did we eat?

burgerDaddy and Sam have it easy they can look at a menu and choose just what they want, so they both picked burgers and chips, I’m informed that their burgers had quite a kick, I think that Sammy might have found it a bit overpowering, but Daddy really enjoyed his.

Then things got a bit more difficult, it really is the soya that is causing bother, an awful lot of the food contained soya so we started to struggle. In the end they were able to adapt things to cater for Tim

fishBecause the fish is prepared and battered on site, they were able to provide Tim with a portion of unbattered fish and chips, which he really enjoyed and anything that he didn’t eat got polished off by Sammy!

I am happy to eat most things, but fish has always been the one thing that I am not keen on, and as I am still breastfeeding I needed to make sure that what I ate was free from dairy, soya and egg. It reached the point that I was ready to give up and just have a portion of chips, when finally they looked at their sheek kebab and discovered that it was suitable.

kebabIt is really unfortunate that the selection of dishes that are suitable for Tim is really limited, but that cannot be helped, as it is something that you realise early on you just have to come to terms with.

What was wonderful is the time and effort that the staff put in to trying to find things that could be eaten by all of us. They could easily have looked at a couple of things and then just told us that nothing would be suitable, but even though they were busy, they spent time with me going though all the options until they were successful.

 

The only negative point

ketchup reactionunfortunately Tim reacted to the ketchup that they serve there, so I guess this is another thing that we will have to start watching out for.

 

 

 

 

I apologise for not putting any pictures of the actual food that we ate, but we were running late for lunch and as soon as the food arrived the kids wanted to dive straight in, this requires some very fast work on the part of mummy and daddy to ensure the cheese burgers go in the right direction and not towards Tim, so pictures are the last of our worries. I would say that all the food looked good, the portions of chips were huge, we bought some home and had chip butties.
 

 

Milk trial – day 3

So day 3 and another small crumb of biscuit

DSCF2882

Once again he didn’t seem very impressed with it, who knows if this is because he doesn’t like it, or because he is desperate for more.

Today we had an appointment with Tim’s paediatrician, she said that his weight was doing fine, all his developmental levels were perfect. She had a student in with her, so it was wonderful to hear everything about him being described in great detail for the students benefit, how he was interacting with people and taking a real interest, he responded to his name, how he had developed from a general grabbing motion to the pincer grip, the student was getting a lot of evidence of this as Tim kept giving him things.

I mentioned that he had spots on day 1, but i was unsure if they were related, she said they quite likely were, definitely if they had white pimples on top

oh great, exactly what they were!

She said she was more than happy not to see us for another 6months as she understands that we are in contact with the dietician and knows that they will contact her if there are any issues.

So everything seemed to be going really well today.

But then I noticed a few spots appear on his cheek again mid-morning and Tim seemed to get generally less settled as the day went on.

At lunchtime he refused to eat, I finally managed to get him to eat 2 or 3 raisins, but it was very reluctantly and I felt I was really forcing them into his mouth.

In the afternoon we were at the allergy group where a mum asked if he was teething, because she said if she didn’t know better she would say he had come into contact with dairy.

By the time we got home from the group the unsettled-ness has turned into unconsolable-ness (yes  I think I am making up my own words now!)

he was refusing any of his usual favourite snacks, wouldn’t drink and didn’t event want to allow an ice-lolly near him, so I hoped for the best and gave him some paracetamol for his teeth, but this had no effect what so ever, so in the end the bottle of piriton was put to use and half an hour later he was willing to breastfeed, something he rarely does in the day now, finally falling asleep for a while.

finally asleep after piriton

finally asleep after piriton

When he woke again he was then willing to have a little bit of rice and seemed generally a bit better for the rest of the day.

I’ve now spoken to the dietician, but that will be a whole new update, as I really wanted to get this one out yesterday (sorry I fell asleep) as I know there are people out there that were concerned last night when I didn’t post about day 3. But it was a long day with hospital, toy library, allergy group and brownies in the evening and all with a really not happy Tim

 

 

When to stop breastfeeding, confused now!

i love breastfeedingI wrote the other day about when to stop breastfeeding

Should I stop before or after we trial Tim with dairy?

Am I stopping for the right reasons?

or just because I want to?

Well it’s definitely not simply because I just want to, I have been thinking about this for a while and everything in my mind came back down to Tim’s milk issues and whether I should try and get him happy on the formula before I have to test him with dairy.

The day I posted the last article on this I happened to be meeting with MummyPinkWellies   

So I was very happy to be able to spend the morning chatting with someone else who had breastfed and also knew about Tim’s issues, I came away feeling that I knew exactly where I wanted to be and that I would feed until he turned one and then stop.

So his birthday came and went, I had lots of ‘advice’ from different people and had no problems with anyone making me think any differently about what I had decided, I felt very much that I had made the right decision for myself and more importantly for Tim. Probably because any people who advised me to keep going have no experience with allergies or are breastfeeding much older children.

Then I got home and saw a comment someone I know had made to my question about when to stop in a group I am in on Facebook.

CMPA support for Breast Feeding

Personally I’d keep going – then at least if little one has a reaction Mummy’s milk will get him thru plus help him get better

So now I am confused again, I really thought I knew what I was doing, but having had to stay in hospital twice with Tim already and it being my breast milk that has got him through, I really don’t know what to do.

He has had formula to go to bed with the last 2 nights, but still had mummy’s milk if needed during the night.

 

I know that being a parent was never meant to be easy, but these sorts of decisions are so worrying as I only want to do what is best, but what is that?

When to stop breastfeeding?

This is a very difficult subject for me at the moment, I am definately PRO-breastfeeding, and for a while was wondering whether I was going to manage to feed Tim until he was a year old, which I really wanted to succeed at having fed Sammy for just over a year.

Why didn’t I think I was going to make it?

The actual act of breastfeeding was not the problem, but in January when I had to stop eating all dairy it suddendly became a lot more difficult. I never had any cravings during either of my pregnancies, however I am definatley now getting withdrawl symptoms for cheese.

Well I am very pleased to say that I have succeeded at making it to one year well near enough he turns one on Thursday so while I write this I haven’t quite made it to a year yet, but nothing is going to stop me getting there now.

 

But now that I have made it this far I am starting to wonder which direction to go in.

Tim is due to start his milk trial in a few weeks, which I am still very nervous about    and this is why I am now starting to think am I better to make sure that I have stopped feeding so that he is stabilised on the Aptamil Pepti-2 before he trials the milk, or am I better to keep breastfeeding him because I know it works for him.

I am not one of those mums desperate to get my body back, or to be able to go out for late nights needing to leave someone else to put him to bed, so the decision comes down to whether I want cheese and which way is best to go in preparation for his trial.

Unfortunately although I am very open to anyones suggestions, comments or opinions, the final decision comes down to me, and at the moment I am just going around in circles.

i love breastfeeding

So what would you do?

Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths

i love breastfeedingkeep britain feedingi love breastfeeding

Unfortunately as with any subject there is a lot of misinformation out there about Breastfeeding, today, the final day of Breastfeeding awareness week some of these myths will be overturned

If you missed any of my previous posts you can find them here

There are NO benefits to breastfeeding

Top Tips for Breastfeeding

Are Breastfeeding cafes and organisations the only way to get support?

Breastfeeding in Public

Do changes in pumping habits have any hidden meaning?

Can I make it to a year, or will cheese get the better of me?

It seems that I have more personal experience of some of these myths than I would like

Breastfed babies do NOT get constipated

Please try and explain this to my first baby who by 5days old we new there was something wrong, but all we kept hearing from midwives was that

Breastfed babies don’t get constipated

we went to the doctor in the end who informed us

Breastfed babies don’t get constipated

But to try and fob us of we were given 20 (yes 2 boxes of 10) suppositories, as everyone was so adamant that he wasn’t constipated we were dubious about using them. When we finally decided to insert one, it seemed he had a blockage of meconium, followed by an awful lot of supposed nothing!

So when number 2 started to seem uncomfortable we didn’t hesitate to do something about it and he ended up on lactulose fairly quickly, unfortunately this wasn’t the best thing for him, but that comes under another myth!

Breastfed babies don’t sleep through the night, put them on the bottle and they will

I agree completely, my first did not sleep through the night, he was up every couple of hours for at least an hour long feed, infact he didn’t sleep day or night, and I had a friend whose little one slept through from the time she was bought home.

Now number 2 has a bad night if he wakes once, and I know of bottle fed babies that do not sleep through.

Although last night was a bad night with 6wake ups 😦 but we all have those bad nights

Breastfed babies immunity will be better

This is a difficult one as I do believe this is true, however it is still possible for your breastfed baby to get ill, I have spent nights in hospital with mine, but I just remind myself that if he wasn’t breastfed then it could be so much worse.

Breastfed babies won’t get allergies

What more can I say except this is untrue, my youngest is allergic to dairy, but I have been told that if he had been exposed to the artificial formula milk his reaction could have been a whole lot worse. To the extent that I was even advised that if I chose to not cut dairy out of my own diet completely it may still be better for him to be breastfed than to be put on formula.

If you are participating in the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt them please leave a comment below about any breastfeeding myths you have come across  and it will be counted towards your final hunt score to win the Grand Prize

Please also take a moment to look at some fellow bloggers and companies also taking part in the hunt

The Brick Castle

Oh So Amelia

Great British Family

Milk Machine Mum

Lonely Scribe

lactivist