First do no harm

Last night I sat down and watched the film ‘First do no harm’


This post is not to tell you how good or bad the film is, or even what it is about, if you want to know the details then go to Wikipedia and have a read, but in brief, there is a family, the son gets sick, he doesn’t respond to the normal treatments, then they finally manage to find something that works for him.

The reason for this post is because although I have watched it many times before and shed a tear or two at some point through it, this time I pretty much blubbed from start to end.

Why you may ask, well it bought back soo many memories, although what this child goes through is nothing like what Tim went through, in fact it is probably a million times worse, I can understand what that mother must have been feeling.

And there are a few quotes from the film that I thought I would share with you.

Firstly the soundtrack for the film is Somewhere over the rainbow, I don’t know what it is about that piece of music, but it gets me everytime.

I think one of the biggest ones for me is

‘Why don’t you go home and get some rest’

This can be said by hospital staff, friends, family, it doesn’t matter who, I know when I was staying in with Tim I was desperate to go home, I had left another child behind, I felt soo guilty that I wasn’t giving him as much attention as he deserved, I wanted to just get out of there, it didn’t even need to be to home, I felt I needed to breathe get away from it all, just step back for a while and let someone else deal with it, but I couldn’t if he couldn’t do that then how could I, his mother, leave him to go through it all on his own.

The next one counts for last year and this

‘Joint decision making without information’

It is amazing how often we are expected to make choices and decisions based on only half the information, in regards to Tim in hospital last year I am fairly sure they were giving us as much information as they had, unfortunately he was causing them confusion so they were struggling themselves.
However this year with completely different things I have been going though it seems that you can really be expected to make decisions with only half the information, then someone will sound surprised about the decisions you have made based on the information you have. Weeks later you get drip fed a bit more and suddenly think, maybe that is why they were surprised that I made the decisions I made!

Again this one fits this year and last

‘I miss us’

When I spent so long in hospital with Tim this was very true, and again this year it fits, but unfortunately due to the position I have been put in there really is no going back.
In Sam’s words

‘Why were we 4 and now we are 3’

I have no answer to give him for that, but it is the way that things are from here on.

And this final one is more about this year

‘My family are not going on welfare’

I have always been a believer in paying my own way and supporting myself, but unfortunately sometimes something happens to destroy your life and you have no choice!

Tonight no sad films, and no tears!


Technology free


How many of you have said that you are not addicted to technology and could easily go without it, but find yourself checking your phone, tablet, laptop every 5minutes?

Do you think you could actually do it?

Well I can and I did,

Ok it was because my mobile died and then the mouse on my laptop finally gave up so I had no choice

But it was lovely, I couldn’t contact anyone and no one could contact me, I had no way to get on a computer or the internet, so there was no point turning my computer or phone (oh yes, what phone!) on.

I will admit that the world we live in now a days does make it hard to live without a mobile,
for example – some girls from the Guide unit I run were camping while I was without phone and one of the parents was trying to get hold of me, so I had to get an old mobile up and running, but all I could do was calls and texts, no options to get online.

And by Sunday we were at A&E (family not Guides) so again it is useful to be able to make a quick call home to tell someone what is going on.

But it has made me reassess how much time we all spend ignoring each other staring at some form of technology.

So a challenge for all of you,
Try and spend sometime without checking your e-mails, Facebook etc,

I am not asking you to go completely without, if someone needs to speak to you they can still phone you, but we all need to start spending some time without always checking if someone has sent us an email to tell us there is an amazing deal on life insurance (could just be the latest one I’m getting several times a day at the moment) or to see what annoying pictures someone has shared


I am not asking for an entire day, just try and spend time while you are with your children not looking at any technology, this could go both ways, maybe you are starting to feel that they are on their devices too much, not a problem in our house as our boys don’t own any!

Would love to know how anyone who tries this gets on

What Should a 4 Year Old Know?

we spend too much time rushing through our children’s lives, we should spend more time letting them be children and developing at their own rate

A Magical Childhood

What should a 4 year old know?

It’s back to school time and children all over are starting preschool.  Many parents are frantically searching the internet to find out if their little ones are “on track” and know everything they should.

I wrote this article about what a four-year-old should know many years ago but it continues to be the most popular page on the Magical Childhood site.  I don’t think a week has passed in the past eight or so years when I have not received a letter from a parent, grandparent or teacher about it.  Parents and principals especially have said they wish more parents realized these things.

So in honor of the new school year, I’m posting it here…

What should a 4 year old know?

I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough…

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What do blankets mean to you?

What is a blanket to you?

In our house they have many uses, occasionally they are used just to keep you warm, but more commonly they are used for dens, beaches, pretendingto have breakfast in bed or even being a caterpillar.

And having even used them to be a playmat while Tim was staying in hospital I understand just how important a blanket can be.
But there are many babies and children that will never feel the comfort a warm, clean blanket can bring.

I am proud to be able to support Dettol and their ambassador Rachel Stevens working together to make a difference to children’s health both at home and aboard, by collecting baby blankets.

High Res Dettol Blanket

Did you know that for every baby blanket donated, Dettol will donate £1 to sparks to help improve children’s health in the UK.

DBBD logo

Why baby blankets?

Baby blankets symbolise a very special time in both a mother and child’s life, holding many precious memories of the early days of life.   However, many babies across the world will never get the chance to experience even the simple comfort that a warm, hygienically clean blanket brings.

Once collected, Dettol Anti-bacterial Laundry Cleanser will ditch the bacteria by ensuring the baby blankets are hygienically washed before being re-distributed to families in need.  Dettol Anti-bacterial Laundry Cleanser has also pledged to donate £1 to Sparks for every blanket collected to raise much needed funds for UK families who are affected by childhood illness or disability up to 5,000 blankets.

so why not


By donating your baby blankets to

Dettol Baby Blanket Donation,
c/o Spink,
The Hay Loft,
Balcombe Place Stables,
RH17 6QJ

tell them

At this time of year there is so much publicity about not driving while under the influence of alcohol. But did you know an elderly driver who is losing their faculties is just as dangerous?

Life as a Widower

The eighty-five-year-old driver who killed my wife, Desreen, was jailed today for eighteen months for causing her death by dangerous driving. He was also banned from driving for life. I suspect he, his family and friends are feeling really quite dreadful right now, and, for what it’s worth, mine and I aren’t exactly celebrating either.

You see, I’ve had time to think since attending the trial and I’ve realised that you can punish a crime but you can’t transfer pain. Any suffering caused to the defendant as a result of his sentencing could in no way take away mine. I’ve since learned that, having suffered so much myself, I genuinely wish no hurt on any other person and I never wished a prison sentence on the driver, either.

In fact, I wasn’t even going to mention the sentencing on my blog at all. But then I reminded myself that justice for Desreen is best served not by a…

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Allergy Thunderclap

Not long to go, tomorrow morning the Allergy Thunderclap will go live, everyone will be bombarded with tweets and facebook messages about allergies.
Lets get the word out, don’t forget to sign up if you haven’t already

Hinckley Yummy Mummy

allergens be aware save lives

Only another 9 sleeps until the legislation on allergens changes.

Lets make sure as many people as possible know about it

Come and join the Thunderclap being organised by the Food Standards Agency

food standards agencyClick here to come and join the Thunderclap

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